If your impulse is to use sparkling language to set your nieces and nephews right, do it. They certainly don’t have any problem grave-robbing from the living; how else will they learn that their grandma’s assumptions don’t ring true for you?

"I feel really bad that these kids assume they are the center of the universe and that we will pile gifts on them just like Gram and Grandad do!"

I told my niece that my pearls would go back to my mom’s side of the family. She ran off to her grandma in tears.

How do we shut down Grandma’s rule-by-rumor as the nieces and nephews see a glimmer of jewelry and assume, loudly and openly, that all will be theirs? Or do we bother?

I have teen nieces and nephews who have been misled by their grandma – my husband’s mother – to believe everything my husband and I have will go to them someday. I told my niece that my pearls would go back to my mom’s side of the family since I have young siblings and no kids right now.