GENTLE READER: Honesty is a virtue, and sparing people’s feelings is a virtue. Why do you think you must choose between them? Yes, you should still turn in a criminal, even if it causes that person hurt feelings. But in ordinary social life, etiquette requires balancing both virtues.

In today's Miss Manners column, advice columnist Judith Martin addresses the concern of a reader who wants to maintain honesty while being polite, suggesting that etiquette requires balancing both virtues and understanding that negative opinions are not great truths.

Even if such responses are socially acceptable as “white lies,” I’m concerned they could be more harmful in the long run.