Speaking of things that are useless in the cold, there was a time when the only jacket issued for the battle dress uniform was this cruel joke. Presenting the most miserable troop of the 1980s.

Most women of a certain age have a clot of polyester/acetate in the back of their closets, a frilly parade of dresses in shades with strippers' names - Ice Pink, Moon Lavender, Hot Emerald.